How is it that we can go through life and never be truly understood? Could it be that maybe we don’t communicate well enough for people to truly get us? There was a time in my life when I felt no one got where I was coming from. They just didn’t seem to understand me or anything about me at all. Time has passed since I felt that no one understood me.
If I ask you how you are, and you say “fine” and say nothing more; you have told me nothing. You could be happy, sad, mad or anything in between, but you put on the mask that everything is okay and then I lack understanding. I call that being coy. I used to be coy with people. I never said what I felt, but now I do. I feel I owe it to you, and I owe it to myself to be honest in how I relate to you; however, it is my duty as a human being to be direct, while at the same time being compassionate. It is only then that we can have the gift of understanding.
Being understanding is a balancing act between being honest and being blunt. You can be direct with people without purposely setting out to hurt them. Sometimes the truth does hurt, and that can’t be helped, but I believe in my heart of hearts that with understanding comes prudence. We must be able to use good judgment when we deal with people.
Some folks are fragile. They have no protective armor to deflect what they perceive to be a lack of understanding. You must get to know a person to truly understand them, but in order to understand them, they have to communicate with you in an honest and direct way. In other words, you can’t beat around the bush and expect to be understood. Be direct. Be honest.
Being honest is part of being understood. Many of us have a propensity to exaggerate the problems we are going through, or do just the opposite and say everything is fine, when it isn’t. If we practice communicating directly, without beating around the bush we will all be better understood.
By Charlene Collins
